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Monday, September 24, 2012

What do you see?

Lord, You are more precious than silver;
Lord, You are more costly than gold;
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds;
And nothing I desire compares with You.


I know I don't have a Bible verse listed up there. I have a verse from a song we sing at camp and I have been humming it all day. Yesterday I was sitting on the dock (for those of you that go to camp it was the dock on the right that ONLY the lifeguards are supposed to be on, but I am the Director so there) and working on my being still and knowing. It was cloudy, but when the sun did make an appearance it was warm. I closed my eyes and was listening to nature and praying. When I opened my eyes, the sun was just coming out from behind a cloud and it appeared on top of the lake that a path of sparkly diamonds was headed toward me. Now, I can explain all this scientifically with how the sun was refracting on the waves as the wind pushed the water, but I don't want to go there right now. I want to go to a place where things are transformed and where I felt like the richest person in the world with God showing me all the diamonds in my life. I am not a writer and am probably not describing this very well, but I know what I saw on the water and how it felt and I am rich in God and His blessings. Sometimes I just have to look at things in a different way.


Anything you need to look at differently?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Less of me...

Set me free from my prison,
    that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
    because of your goodness to me.  Psalm 142:7


My Pastor is preaching a series on the fruits of the spirit and last Sunday she preached on goodness. The passage she used was Psalm 142. That message has stuck with me the past couple of days. There was a quote she used that was some thing to the effect of ....when there is less of me, there can be more of God.

How many times do we look to fill our days, our time, our calendars with stuff to do, people to see and work. I know that I do. I am comfortable with my to do list, my hours, days, weeks, months planned out. With my vocation changing and the life changes my family is going through, I do sometimes feel less of myself. My identity was wrapped up in my work and what I did. I don't have that anymore so I started looking to see how I could fill that time. Maybe I don't need to fill that time, God will do that for me.

That is easier said than done. During class this weekend I learned I am borderline type A personality and like things structured, orderly and "right". Sometimes God doesn't do order and structure. Plus His idea of right may be different than mine. 

I am learning to let go and learning how to play. I think God has plans for me, but I may miss the forest for the trees as I keep updating my to do list and calendar.

Anyone else out there that needs to be less of themselves and let God fill the space? 

P.S. - I was also told in class that I am normal, just a little weird :-) 

Monday, September 10, 2012

What's next?


“Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be established.” Proverbs 16:3 (NASB)

Last week I wrote about looking back or reflection on the summer and I have asked my Pastor if I can give a sermon in the near future about my reflections at camp. I am pretty excited about that as it will be my second real sermon ever.

This week, I am looking to the present and future. Since camp has ended for this season, I have had a lot of people ask me what I do now?? Well, I sleep and then get up and nap, and maybe eat and then sleep again :-) Maybe for the first day or two after camp ended that was my schedule. :-P

 I moved back to my farm full time and took a couple vacations with my family. It was great to be together 24/7 after not being home much this summer. I think the animals are happy to have me back too and in a normal routine. Animals thrive on routines and I do too.

For my Camp routine, I come to the Milwaukee office once a week and work on paperwork, database updates, miscellaneous followup from the summer and look toward the Winter Youth Retreat and setting up that weekend with a theme, leaders and getting the registration out there plus next year's camping season.  

I am also in seminary pretty much full time and have a class gong on right now for Formation for Christian Ministry so I have papers, reading, projects and class time to work in to my routine.

The hardest part has been my home routine. I am not used to being home as much as I am now and it is throwing me for a loop. I feel guilty if I am not working on a to do list or organizing something. I have created a home to do list and am working on getting my house and farm in shape. We moved in about 6 years ago and there are some boxes I still haven't really unpacked. I have also done some research on organizing and simplifying all aspects of your life and removing clutter helps to move forward. I definitely have some clutter that can go!

I also started being the primary cook in our house. For those of you that know me well, I will wait a moment while you stop laughing. You good now? Yup, I am planning menus, cooking and trying new things and you know I actually like it. 

I am still a little nervous about the future, what this Camp job brings, what leaving my other job means and what will I do with all this schooling, but I look to the verse at the top of this blog and I know I have committed my works to the Lord and He will work out the plan.

What has you nervous or scared that you need to commit to the Lord and trust in His planning?


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Looking back or reflection?

Know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. Deuteronomy 4:39 ESV

As I drove into the office this morning I continued my internal "looking back" over the summer and what went well, what didn't and what I learned. When I sat down to write this, I Googled "looking back" in the Bible and the verses that came up were not kind as God wants you to look forward. I decided I didn't want to be like Lot's wife when she looked back so I have decided to reflect back on the summer. I mean, I like salt...would not like being turned in to a pillar of salt though.

I think one of the biggest things I came to understand is that what works for one person doesn't work for all and what works for all, doesn't work for one. The Spirit moved in many different ways this summer and you can't predict what will hit home for someone or what will touch their heart. We had many different leaders with many different styles and they all worked! I am a planner and I do think you have to go in to anything having a plan, BUT you also have to be willing to let things evolve and shift as needed. Sometimes....it is just Faith that gets you to the next scheduled event that day. 

The most difficult thing for me to deal with this summer were the camp rules. We have them written down and most people (campers, camp leaders, renters) follow them, but there are those people that don't think they apply to them. That is a challenge for me as I am a rule follower and the rules are there for a reason. Now, that doesn't mean I don't think that rules can't be bent if there is a purpose or reason. I felt very responsible for the safety - physically and spiritually - for everyone so I had a hard time with those that went their own way.

Behind the scenes at Camp Tamarack is something I had never witnessed before this year and it is truly something to behold! There are many people that want Camp to be a great experience! My staff was amazing and touched many lives in many different ways with the kitchen, craft barn, waterfront, canteen and overall interaction. You guys/gals ROCK! Mark and Deb are also very dedicated to Camp and do so much we don't all see. Thanks to them for helping to guide my first summer.

Networking with the Camp Tamarack family is very different than networking in a corporate environment. In the corporate world it always felt the networking relationships were about - what can you do for me? In this new environment I felt it was more - what can I do for you? I was humbled many times by people's generosity to help as a cabin leader, drive campers and staff to and from camp/home and all the prayers and well wishes that went our way was amazing. 

God spoke to me in many different ways and sometimes I didn't always want to hear what he said. What was interesting was the mediums He used: campers, camp leaders, staff, nature (I have a squirrel and duck story that will be part of sermons some day), chaos, quiet and I am sure I am missing a few. My point is - be willing to see Him anywhere. He is talking.

The Bible verse I picked today pretty much sums up my reflection on the summer - through it all, God is it and there is no other.