Lord, you are my shield, my glory, and my only hope. You alone can lift my head. Psalm 3:3
I am a scientist at heart. I like it when things are black and white and there is an answer. I like it when we can replicate an experiment and come up with the same answer. When there is something wrong with my donkey, I like it when I can make a diagnosis and fix it or figure out the behavior.
Life does not always fit in to a to do list or a standard operating procedure. People, including me, don't always do what they are supposed to. There are thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions and rubbish that aren't always nice and neat.
Being that I am a scientist, I like data. I have been collecting data on myself for the past 6-7 years on my behavior during he winter months. I am pretty sure I have Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. Even though I know I build up to this every winter, I still end up feeling very down. This year I tried spending more time outside with my animals each day, worked out as much as I could and kept busy with my jobs and coaching basketball. It helped and postponed the symptoms, but eventually I just get down. It isn't a major down, just enough to derail me and get me off track. That was last week and the low hit on Friday when I couldn't figure out how to work the Sonos so I didn't clean and really didn't do much of anything.
I think our faith goes through seasons. Not the church seasons of Advent, Lent, Epiphany and so on, but how we feel about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I have had some pretty significant life events that I had to deal with and I would think I was doing fine until the "Friday" came, the low period and I would just have to give it to God. I mean, really and truly just give it to God to handle. Not give part of it to God and still work on it in my spare time to fix it, but hand it all over and realize it was out of my control.
That is where Psalm 3:3 comes in. The Lord can lift my head, and does, when I am down and need help. I need to get better at realizing it sooner and turning it over. That doesn't mean I crawl under the covers and stay there. It means I look to God each day to help me understand or maybe just help me take the next step and then the next one and so on until that season has passed.
Is there something you need to give to God? Is there something that just doesn't make scientific/logical sense, but you have to deal with it? There is a part of the Lord's prayer I repeat when I just don't understand or need help - "Thy will be done". Thy will, not my will.
I think SAD runs in the family. Bought a special UV light that the Dr. recommended but can't say it helps much. As I look out the window with snowflakes again bombarding and thoughts of going trout fishing getting pushed farther back in my plans I'll admit to being very down today. Long winter.
ReplyDeleteHold on, God's plan has to be for a long winter then, right? He doesn't give us more than we can handle through Him so I search out another thing to do today. Who knows maybe it will be the better choice for me than standing in snow, ice, and frigid water since I'll be getting something done around the house!! :) Plus, more snow should equal better water levels in the local streams. Bring on the snow.