I am soooo ready for spring!

Lord, you are my shield, my glory, and my only hope. You alone can lift my head. Psalm 3:3

I am a scientist at heart. I like it when things are black and white and there is an answer. I like it when we can replicate an experiment and come up with the same answer. When there is something wrong with my donkey, I like it when I can make a diagnosis and fix it or figure out the behavior.

Life does not always fit in to a to do list or a standard operating procedure. People, including me, don't always do what they are supposed to. There are thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions and rubbish that aren't always nice and neat.

Being that I am a scientist, I like data. I have been collecting data on myself for the past 6-7 years on my behavior during he winter months. I am pretty sure I have Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. Even though I know I build up to this every winter, I still end up feeling very down. This year I tried spending more time outside with my animals each day, worked out as much as I could and kept busy with my jobs and coaching basketball. It helped and postponed the symptoms, but eventually I just get down. It isn't a major down, just enough to derail me and get me off track. That was last week and the low hit on Friday when I couldn't figure out how to work the Sonos so I didn't clean and really didn't do much of anything.

I think our faith goes through seasons. Not the church seasons of Advent, Lent, Epiphany and so on, but how we feel about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I have had some pretty significant life events that I had to deal with and I would think I was doing fine until the "Friday" came, the low period and I would just have to give it to God. I mean, really and truly just give it to God to handle. Not give part of it to God and still work on it in my spare time to fix it, but hand it all over and realize it was out of my control.

That is where Psalm 3:3 comes in. The Lord can lift my head, and does, when I am down and need help. I need to get better at realizing it sooner and turning it over. That doesn't mean I crawl under the covers and stay there. It means I look to God each day to help me understand or maybe just help me take the next step and then the next one and so on until that season has passed.

Is there something you need to give to God? Is there something that just doesn't make scientific/logical sense, but you have to deal with it? There is a part of the Lord's prayer I repeat when I just don't understand or need help - "Thy will be done". Thy will, not my will.

Sometimes I get angry

Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.


Sometimes I get angry with my husband.
Sometimes I get angry with co-workers.
Sometimes I get angry with people who don't know how to drive.
Lots of times I get angry with inanimate objects.
Mostly I get angry with myself, but sometimes I do get angry with God.

I have always believed that God is big enough and can take it. I still believe that.
Last week I was talking with my daughter about an after school activity and what she was going to do. I used sarcasm. Maybe a little too much sarcasm. She turned away and pretended to read her book when really she was sobbing. 
I felt horrible. It wasn't anything that important. It wasn't worth crying over. She had every right to be mad at me. We then had a thirty minute conversation and it was wonderful, plus we figured out what she was going to do with the after school activity.

As the parent I could take her anger and shape it into something good even though I caused the pain.
I don't think God intends to cause us pain and make us angry, I think that is our human nature. I do think God uses those times in our lives to have a conversation with us and figure out what we are going to do.

God is having conversations with me right now. I am listening. I don't always like what I hear. Sometimes I don't know if I can do what He is asking of me, but I am almost at a place where I am willing to try.

Is God looking to have a conversation with you? Are you ready and willing to listen? Are you ready and willing to take action?

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~ Thomas A’ Kempis

Ash Wednesday

Genesis 2:7 - And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Psalm 103:14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

Ecclesiastes 3:20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return

This whole celebrating Ash Wednesday is still fairly new to me. In the tradition I grew up in we didn't have Lenten services. Easter started with Good Friday and sometimes maybe Maunday Thursday. I remember a pretty cool Last Supper re-enactment at the Congregational Church in Rio.

The first time I truly tried to give something up was after I was married and my husband and I gave up desserts. Well, that just led to many discussions about what constitutes a dessert. Is tapioca pudding a dessert? 

The three Bible verses I listed at the beginning of this blog speak to me. We were formed from the ground and will return to the ground. I performed two funerals in 2012 and that concept of returning to dust has a whole new dimension for me.

If we are from the ground, shouldn't we take care of the ground? The Earth? I think that is the direction I am taking my Lenten journey this year. What can I give up or take up doing that will help the Earth?

This picture is from my trip to Israel and is the site of Qumran where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found. I couldn't help but wonder when I was here if Jesus would have walked near here as he fasted in the desert for 40 days?

I am very curious as to what you do during these 40 days in preparation for Easter? 

Winter Youth Retreat

Woo hoo - we survived Winter Youth Retreat!

A record number of youth registered which meant I had to find a place for everyone to sleep - what a great problem :-) 

The Crossing at UW Madison led our sessions with the overall theme of Love God, Love Neighbor. There was a session where we remembered our baptism as water was gathered from different areas and in different forms around the camp grounds. Another session showed us how we are all connected and why we should love the environment. As we prepared for a campfire down by the lake there was time to pray together and pull all of the ideas of the weekend together. We had hot chocolate, s'mores and fellowship. 

Thank you to all the leaders and to the youth that helped to make this a great weekend. 

There was a lot of prep and build up time for the WYR and now that it is over it is time to start looking towards the summer. The dates are already set and listed on the website so now we are working on the theme, registration costs, supplies, staff and so on. 

I know this post isn't extremely inspiring. I have to admit that the weather, lack of sun and busyness of the "to do list" have me down. Usually I just stay disciplined and plow through. I am looking forward to Lent and a retreat I want to register for in March. How do you stay inspired when there are roadblocks and challenges?

Hope everyone is staying warm and safe this winter. Shalom~

For those of you that may be attending UW Madison in your future, here is a link to The Crossing website so you can see what they are about: http://www.crossingministries.org/

Whom shall I fear...by Chris Tomlin

I don't have a full blog today, but have been thinking a lot about this song so here is the link so you can hear it too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x5aEvl6Zdk

Another round of random thoughts

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord;

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

First thought - this one I have been thinking about for a while and for the life of me can't find the song that started this. If I do hear it soon, I will respond on the blog. Anyway, what I hear in the song is that we go through trials, tribulations and sorrow. God sees this sorrow and is happy we are crying. I may be simplifying this a bit, but really? God is happy we are going through these tough times? I know the Bible says there will be tough times, but I don't remember seeing a place where it says God will be happy when we are sad. I think about being a parent. When my child goes through a tough time, I am right there with her. I am not happy. What do you think??

Next thought - My next class has to do with Ministry Ethics and I just started the reading. Just based on the topic you know it is going to be interesting. Last night I was wondering how churches measure success, then I wondered how pastors measure success and then this morning I wondered how we as individual Christians measure success. Then, I was wondering if we should even look at measuring success. I am still transitioning out of my corporate world and we always had goals/measurements/updates etc... So I am wondering, do any of you measure success as a Christian in any of these ways? As a church or individual?

Oh and here is a website I was looking at as I wrestle with this idea: http://www.goodnewsdispatch.org/success.html

Cool thought - At basketball practice last week I was wearing this bracelet:

 

A few girls asked me what it stood for and they were excited to know I was a believer.

Last thought - since it is the New Year, does anyone make resolutions? Specifically I am wondering if anyone ever kept one or achieved one? I don't care about the subject. Just curious. I am working on making better choices this year with what I eat, how I spend my time, you get the picture.

Happy New Year everyone - blessings for 2013 and beyond :-)

We Three Kings of Orient Are....

Matthew 2:1-2
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem ² and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.

I have been thinking about the 3 kings a lot this year. This isn't an area I have really thought about in past Christmases. Oh yeah, I would sing the song "We Three Kings" and loved listening to the bass voices showcase their talents. 
One year as a Sunday School teacher my class chose as their pageant skit -Myrtle, Frank and a Few Wise Guys. 
(Here is a link to it if you want to have a laugh: 
http://www.dramatix.org.nz/archive/Christmas/myrtle_frank_and_wise_guys.html) 
There is also the joke about 3 wise women:

But if you really read the text I think there is a lot to glean here. The skit ends with the idea that Jesus is for all. I think Matthew 2:1-12 reflects that as well. Here is King Herod with the knowledge of the prophecy, all the chief priests and teachers of the law and they all missed the star. On the other hand you have 3 men from a far off land who knew the significance and traveled far just to spend a little time with the true King. 
My thinking started this Christmas with the idea of gifts. So many people get wrapped up (pun intended) in finding and buying the perfect gift or buying lots of gifts. What do people want vs what do people need. I am just as guilty of this. I love to give gifts. Why do we give gifts? I know some people think about Jesus being the greatest gift and He is, but what about the gifts the Wise Men or Magi brought and the meaning behind them? 

• Gold (fit for a king) 
• Frankincense (used to worship at a temple)
• Myrrh (used for embalming, as well as a salve for irritations such as diaper rash)

I think people could look at these gifts in many different ways. Each gift represents a different, but important area of life. 
These gifts were also not given the day of Jesus birth, but after the Magi found him after a time of travel. 
I received an e-mail from my Pastor as part of her prep for this Sunday and she had a line in the e-mail about where the focus was. The Magi it seems were focused on the right things and Herod was focused on the wrong things.
Not sure I have a great way to tie all this together, but wanted to share what I was thinking. I do know I want to change how we do presents in my immediate family next Christmas so we focus on the right things.