"I" vs "We"

Acts 17:28 "For in him we live and move and have our being."

The verse above was our theme verse this summer at camp. In my mind it was chosen innocently enough as we discussed topics at the Camp Commission meeting in January. What I didn't realize is that God was going to use that verse to speak directly to me in many ways.

Each weekly Director and Pastor takes the theme of the verse and makes it their own as far as worship, games, Vespers, crafts and wherever else it may fit. There were many creative analogies and ideas for each age group. From Andre talking about hashtags and how they are used (or maybe misused) to Jane talking about how we each see ourselves to Phin helping to bring "The Jesus League of Tamarack" to life (Complete with superheroes and logo!) and Kim talking about the vine and branches there was a lot of talk about identity and who we are in Christ. Sometimes who we are apart from Christ, too.

As summer staff gathered together we were all excited about the summer ahead of us and how we can make a difference in the life of the camp. We tried to study the book of James (as a staff member we are pulled in many directions all times of the day and night), but I always had that verse in Acts in the back of mind. We all come to camp with our own idea of identity and individuality.

As I sat across the meal table with all 7 staff members (mostly 6 as Kim would eat in the kitchen) I realized I could see myself in each one of them. There was a part of me that shared a common bond with each person. I am guessing if I had spent time with each cabin leader and camper I would have found the same thing.
With some it was our love of science, or books, or crafts. With others it was the anticipation of graduating and looking forward to "big girl" jobs. With everyone it was laughter and trying to find humor in all situations.

I think sometimes when we talk about identity people get stuck in their own identity. Who am I? Where do I fit in? I got stuck in that as I realized I am not who I thought I was. I have a closet full of high heels and business clothes, but they don't fit in at a camp. Does that mean I don't fit in with my old friends?

I learned to look outside the "I". The group I ate meals with is not a group I would have spent time with prior to working at camp. Just because of logistics and where I was in life. Now, though I see the "we" in that Bible verse. We had a common goal to help camp be successful and because we share a Savior we will always be connected and live and move and have our being. Even if we don't work together again, we are part of a bigger family. All of us are part of that bigger family and it is definitely a part of our identity!

"To" not "From"

My daughter and I have this thing we do. In September of 2011 we bought a notebook and I wrote questions in there for her to answer. Then I put the notebook on her desk. She gets around to answering the questions and then she writes two questions for me to answer and places the notebook on my desk. I put the notebook on her desk last December with a couple questions about Christmas and then forgot about it.
Last week, she cleaned her room (I had had enough) and she cleaned her desk and found the notebook. She answered the questions about Christmas, but the questions she wrote for me stopped me in my tracks.
I leave for Camp full time next Wednesday and I have been a flurry of activity cleaning the house, get budget stuff set up, making sure doing chores won't take more time for my husband than he has time for and so on....

Her question to me was: What are you looking forward to at Camp Tamarack this summer?

Looking forward to.

I have been spending so much time and energy looking at where I am leaving from - my home, that I forgot to look forward to Camp.

It has been a lot to ask my family for me to take on this job that I sometimes feel guilty about leaving them at home, with chores and the duties I usually do every day/week/month.

Every person should be able to look forward to something so here is the start of my list!
I am looking forward to:
Time at Vespers
Time in my kayak on the Chain O'Lakes
Working with some amazing people
Watching campers grow, struggle and smile
Getting a tan
Runs through the forest
Watching stars at night
Campfires

What a unique opportunity I have with this job as Director of Camping Ministries and I am going to look forward to living it :-)

What are you looking forward to?

Staring at a blank screen

I have been looking at this blank screen for a few minutes now, not sure what to write. I think part of my problem today coming up with a topic has to do with the title of this blog and what's going on in my day to day life. The blog is called "What's Up at Camp Tamarack" and my day to day life has a lot more going on.

For camp, we are still working on finalizing cabin leaders. I am not sure what history is in obtaining cabin leaders and if there has ever been a summer where everything has been lined up and there have been no last minute pleas or scrambles to get everything set. I remember a few summers where on a Saturday night my Grandpa Epps would tell me I was packing a bag and heading to camp to be a cabin leader. Well, first you don't argue with Grandpa and second, why wouldn't I want to go to camp. I think I need to find a better way to ask people (or rather tell people :-) ) they are coming to camp to help.

The mini-mission weekend is coming up so Mark and Deb are prepping for the physical "opening" of camp and getting things organized.

I am weaning myself off of TV and starting a book list. I won't have a class this summer so will have some fun reading time.

Kim has started a list for our first food order.

Camp staff are getting packed and ready to head up to start work in June.

I am packing or at least thinking of what to pack and I realize I am leaving my husband and daughter again for the summer. Now we do have plans to stay connected, but that ties to other things happening in my life. I am preaching this Sunday on Solitude and have been giving a lot of thought to being alone and lonely vs solitude. Sometimes even when there is a busy and full camp, I am lonely. I miss my home and my husband. Sometimes though I find solitude in the kayak or sitting at Vespers. I know I need to do a lot more thinking/research/praying before the sermon is ready, but I am wondering where you find solitude and how you differentiate between being alone vs lonely?

Shalom

This is really about that

When I arrived at the office this morning I found a stack of registrations waiting to be entered into the database and have confirmation letters sent back to campers. It was a pretty cool site to see.

I will let you in on a secret, before the camping seasons and the Winter Youth Retreats last year and this year I was afraid not one person would sign up. I know that is just plain silly, but it was a real fear that went through my brain - more than once. It is also a selfish fear. You see, sometimes I have a tendency for things to be about me. About my need for approval as the new Director of Camping Ministries, my need to make sure things are just right and my need for success.

Camp is not about me, camp is about a space where God can work in people's lives in whatever way that needs to happen. Where I do fit in to God's plan is to help make that successful and safe.

One thing I have learned (out of many things) so far in my tenure in this role is that the way one person experiences God is not the same way someone else does or needs to.

There is a book I read where the author looks at the Bible and breaks down some of the themes and stories. What was interesting was he pointed out that most of the time what we think is the initial message is really about something else if you understand the wording or history behind it. I am finding that same pattern in my interactions with family, friends, co-workers. What starts off as one topic really turns in to another. We just have to take the time to get there and follow the clues.

Is there something you are worried about or angry about? Is the issue really that topic or is there something else?

Getting closer!!

It does not seem like a year ago I was getting ready to move up to camp for my first year as Director of Camping Ministries! It was! In a little over I month I will pack up all my camp clothes, my stuff to survive and my kayak and head back up to Tamarack for my extended stay.

I am looking forward to working with everyone again.

What's Up at Camp Tamarack right now?
*Entering in all the registrations and sending back the confirmation letters.
*Trying to design and order new t-shirts and sweatshirts.
*Ordering canteen/craft barn supplies.
*The big one is lining up all the volunteers that we need for this to be a success! I am sending out a flier to all the Baptist churches in the area to help recruit, but I also wanted to post this here. If you know anyone that would be a great cabin leader please send them my why. We do want camp to be a success and there are many factors that go in to getting leaders set up. For example, the commission and I have come up with some guidelines:

For Primary, Middler and Junior camps, anyone in High School or older may volunteer to help.

For Junior High we would like leaders that have been out of High School for at least a year.

For Senior High we would like leaders that are 21 and older. 

There are exceptions and it is up to the weekly Directors to decide if someone is a good fit.

Our Jr. High and Sr. High camps are short on cabin leaders so let your family and friends know!

We also had some excitement on our farm last weekend and I leave you with a picture of our new litter of baby kitties to celebrate spring!

Sometimes I get down

Some lyrics from "Get Down" by Audio Adrenaline - 
To live your life you've got to lose it
And all the losers get a crown

(Here is a link to the song if you want to hear the whole thing: http://youtu.be/xnggiwaLqH0)

Lately, I have been down. Maybe it is because warmer weather and sun are not here yet. Maybe it is still a little bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I think this time, I am still grieving from leaving my old job of 18 years. It has been about year and I miss the day to day routine. I miss the consistency of the people I worked with each day. I miss the stability of knowing what my paycheck was each week. I miss the opportunities I had like travel and being asked to speak or train at conferences. I miss knowing I was good at what I did. 

Last night I was doing some research for a sermon I am giving this month. The topic is camping so I was reading Numbers 9:15-23 and an analysis I did for my Hebrew Bible class. The Israelites were about a year into the desert and wanted to go back to Egypt. They wanted to go back to what they knew - even though they were slaves and weren't treated well. Going forward was scary. Going forward though led to the Promised Land. They still complained about the food, the water, the travel and probably many other things. That is what I have been doing lately, complaining about what I miss - the schedule, the stability, the travel - even though I was stressed beyond belief and was asked to do things I wasn't comfortable with. 

I need to look forward. I need to follow the cloud and pillar God has placed before me. I need to remember there is a reason I am on this path - even though I don't understand it all the time and I need to remember God will provide. I am sure I will still complain :-), but I need to move forward and not look backwards thinking that Egypt was better when I know in my heart it wasn't.

When I get down - He lifts me up! 

Labyrinth walk

Part of what I love about camp is learning different traditions that each church celebrates or how people find meaning in different ways. I have had discussions about baptism, praise bands, how Vacation Bible School is run, youth group events, music in general, holiday services, lent traditions and I am sure other topics I am forgetting about.

This past weekend, I was part of a confirmation celebration. Using previous schedules, I was responsible for planning what we would do Friday night and Saturday morning. I have been part of confirmation classes before, but we had never taken time away to "wrap things up". I have to say it was a pretty cool experience talking with the three young people about their faith, what they believe, and what they see as their spiritual gifts.

We spent the night at The Pilgrim Center - a camp run by the UCC denomination in Green Lake. It was a great opportunity to see how things are done at a different camp as well. We only ate breakfast there, but for those of you that may be older....they still serve meals family style and we had to set up our own tables as "hop" and "skip".  The lodge we stayed in was a lot like Basile.

One of the special things this camp has is an indoor and outdoor labyrinth. Since we do live in Wisconsin, we needed to use the indoor labyrinth:

As we walked in to the labyrinth, we took a deep breath, said a prayer and slowly started walking the path.
There is no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth and the 5 of us that walked it Friday night had 5 different experiences. For me, I thought I had something I wanted to contemplate....God had a different idea.
It took us about 45 min to an hour to walk the path in towards the center and then back out. It was actually the quietest I had ever heard this group :-)

I know we don't have a labyrinth at Camp Tamarack (yet :-P ), but we do have great trails to walk and I would encourage you to do a prayer walk. Prepare your heart and mind to be open to what God has to say, stop and pray or just listen when you feel the need. Each experience for each person is different so don't go in to it expecting something, just be open to what happens.

I would love to hear if anyone has a labyrinth experience they would like to share or if you want to share a tradition that is special to you and your church.